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Picture Of My Mind
It
was the most tiring night of my life... I work only at night on purpose because night makes me
more creative and that reflects on my drawings. But that night was different
from the others. The storm was blowing violently, tree branches were clicking
the windows. “Knock! Knock!” The rain was beginning to fall slowly. Despite all
this noise my eyes were starting to close. My thoughts was fading, birds on my
canvas were fliying, the lamp in the room was fluctuating, my entire body was
captured by a sweet drowsiness... Then suddenly, the rain came down in heavy
sheets. The strong wind was never tired, the anger of the night was not
resting. Lightnings were flashing which illuminating the darkness of the night
and whispered me:
“Wake
up!”
My
eyes suddenly opened. I was a little scared. I took a deep breath, stood up and
walked to the window. No one was on the streets, none of the houses
lights was on because it was three o'clock at night, everyone was sleeping
except for nature and me...
There was something, something like gloomy. I was feeling it in the air, I was feeling it in my mind. I couldn't see anything unusual outside. I examined it more closely.Still nothing. Once again I looked more carefully and finally got it. It took a few minutes for my brain to understand what it was.
This
bad feeling was due to the accident years ago. It was ten years ago...
I
had just moved into town therefore I did not know anyone there. There was a
tense atmosphere in the street when my furnitures were transported to new home
on a November morning.I hadn’t known what it was but I strongly believed that
something bad had happened. Everyone was silent, everyone was in deep sorrow. It was as if a huge black cloud had
collapsed on this small, peaceful town.
At
eventide, while I was placing the flowerpots in the garden, I saw people
wearing black clothes walking towards the town cemetery. Although it was a
small town, no one had said welcome. Why did everyone seem so pensive? Wasn't
it strange that they did not notice someone who had just moved in town? What
could have affected everyone so deeply? What was so special about that day?
I
immediately changed my clothes and went after the people to the cemetery. As
soon as I entered the cemetery, I saw Jared Holesock the spokesman for the
regional rescue service.I had met him before. We met when I had come to buy the
house. Although we did not speak too much, he recognized me and came to me.
“I’m
sorry, it came out of my mind that you will come today. Welcome Mr. Alberto.
Thank you also for attending our memorial service”, he said.
He
was trying to smile while greeting me friendly but I could see the grief in his
eyes. After I kindly greeted him with my head, I said:
“It's
okay. So what is so speacial about today? I don’t know anything about that.”
He
hesitated a little. I thought he didn't want to talk about that incident. Then
he tried to explain;
“Ah...
A year ago... There was a terrible accident in the night. That was a
horrible... At the moment, thirty victims
from that disaster, lie in this cemetery. We gather here every year to
commemorate them and pray....”
I
took a look around. What a sad place the town cemetery was! Unfortunate people,
who knows how cold they are in their graves where fate has put them in! There
were flowers and memoirs in the graves. Almost the whole town was there.
Everyone's friend, a neighbour, a relative was laying there. Everyone had lost
somebody loved. The small town cemetery was full in one night. ONE NIGHT!
I asked to him “How did this accident happen?”
Jared responded with a deep sigh, “Unfortunately there
are not many people who know how it happened. Survivors do not want to talk about that event.
Think about it.... too many
people died right before your eyes. It was a big disaster especially if you
were mentally deranged person…”
Suddenly, he fell into silence and looked at people
who were trying to light a campfire. It was getting dark. The fire that started to flash
seemed to be whispering to him at the moment. And then he continued to talk, “
The storm that night was so violent and it caused a fire in the power line.
It took ten minutes for the
fire to surround the entire building with the help of the wind. When
firefighters and aid teams arrived there, the condition was very difficult. The
people in the half of the building were evacuated, but the other half ... It
was too late for everything. There is no doubt that everyone has done their
best. And later, a heavy rain started. The sky seemed to help us. But when we extinguished
the fire, the bodies became almost unrecognizable. Carrying them one by one was
heartbreaking…”
“ Oh! This is very tragic. I can't even imagine that
people's pain. So what time this fire happened? Along with the weather
conditions, the time is also important factor in that case.” I said and really,
thinking of the people's pain hurts me.
“The fire broke
out at 3 am. Of course, night time was worse. Fortunately this is a small town otherwise it would be
worse… The prayer is about to begin. ”
Our talk ended here. I was constantly thinking about the accident. Looking
at the faces of the people there was creating memories in my mind. I knew that
the accident survivors were here. But it was too crowded to see them. Prayer
was read aloud by the priest. The giant seagulls who are the guardians of the
cemetery, spin over our heads, their muffled screams were mingling with our
thoughts. I still remember how upset I was when he told me about this accident
in detail. It was mentioned in newspaper headlines as follows.
“Twenty
mentally ill was killed by a fire accident, officials said. Jared Holesock,
spokesman for the regional rescue service, said the fire in the town’s asylum
broke out early Sunday before 3 a.m. According to Mayor, those killed were all
patients, most of them by smoke inhalation. In addition to the deaths, Holesock
said twenty five others were injured by the blaze and transported to nearby
hospitals. Some of them was in critical condition.”
I
left without waiting for the mayor to speak. I chose to extend the road on my
way home thus I avoided people and approached my thoughts. The things I learned
came to life in my mind. I didn’t remember exactly when the hallucinating began.
There was a two person, lovers who secretly met in the hallway at night. The
woman was complaining about something.
“I
want to go home. I don't want to be here anymore. I want to stand in a nice
dress and with my red liptstick, staring at the sunset.”
The man who doesn’t seem to insane was listening to
him calmly and said:
“I want too but it is not the right time, sweetheart.
We need a some time to heal. And then everything you want will come true.”
“I want to be with you … Beyond these walls!
I want to be able to see you
freely whenever I want.”
“So, let's get out of here and this town!”
The man was immediately convinced and they
hugged. It was an indisputable fact that they were crazy or their love was
blind. Then suddenly the woman screamed. She was the first to notice the smoke leaking into the hallway. In seconds,
the smoke spreaded everywhere. Thanks to her scream, people noticed the fire
and jumped out of their beds. A rush started. The screams were rising one after
another. No matter which door they opened, there was a flame. Some of them was
praying aloud “God, have mercy!”
The hallucinating was getting worse, I couldn't
breathe. I should have helped them. Where did the lovers go? I couldn’t see anything! I
couldn’t find anyone. That was
their last hug. And
it was raining outside, just like now…
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